How to Support the Emotional Life You Do Want

Inktober 2020 – Day 10: Billy Joel Lyrics

If you spend any time watching the news then you get your fill of hate. The media loves to focus on the negative side of things and spread a message of fear no matter the topic. It is as if they have no idea how to look at the bright side of things, all they want to do is spread fear and hate to grab ratings. Needless to say I stopped watching the news years ago, and that change in my life has made all the difference.

This line from Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man reminds me that it takes a long time for things to change. When things do not change fast enough it is easier to hate than wait anymore. Sad that out of frustration hate is the go to emotion, that we default to anger instead of being more patient. And the media does not help these types of situations at all. As a culture we have lost our ability to be patient and jump head first into anger, agitation and hate.

Unfortunately when we resort to hate we end up lumping people into our rage that may not fit. Children learn hate simply because that is all they hear or experience. Families have topics they can’t discuss as it will spark outrage and resentments within the group. Unmet expectations start the anger ball rolling and when not addressed mesh together with fear and rage until hate is the only emotion available. Before we know it we are angry all the time and never experience resolution or release, the only emotion we are able to express is hate. Nothing else seems to fit, or there is no longer any room for anything else.

So what do we do? Change is slow yet it does happen. How do we remind ourselves to be just a bit more patient when we have been waiting for decades? How do we encourage our children to be patient when they only know deprivation or fear? And how do we find within ourselves the ability to forgive when all we feel is disappointed and hopeless? I would love to have a quick one sentence answer, however I know I do not have that answer. When I find myself feeling this way I usually go do something physical – walk, ride a bike, clean, watch a great action movie – I do something to help me release my emotions. Because if I don’t then those emotions have no where to go and will only grow stronger

I would encourage you to take the time to figure out how you best deal with pent up emotions, in a healthy manner. More destruction is not the answer, and watching tv or reading more trash on the internet won’t release the pain. Find your way, let it out, and engage your patience for a bit longer. No one wants to live in a world where hate is the emotion of choice, so we have to actively choose and make decisions to support the life we do want.

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