It is easy to look back on our lives and see the lessons learned from our decisions; decisions that went the way we expected and the unknown debacles we had no idea we were about to survive. I have been asked the question multiple times, “If you knew then what you knew now, what would you change in your past?” When I was younger and freshly wounded by my own drama I would have listed two or three things that I would tell my younger self to avoid. Now that I am older and wiser I answer the question the same way every time I am asked, I would change nothing.
If I changed even one thing from my past I would not be where I am today. I would not have had the experiences that taught me the lessons, that gave me the courage to live the way I do now. I would not be who I am and fervently believe in what I do because my experiences would end up completely differntly. It would be hard to do it all over again and experience the painful parts, and yet without the pain I would not have the learning.
I call this whole thought process the armchair Quarterback. It is easy to kibitz when you have already seen the result. It is easy to tell someone else what they did wrong when they relay the story after the fact. It is easy to scold, or comment, or tell then what they did wrong. We are so smart and we have advice that can’t make it better or worse, but we know what we would have done differently. And when we apply the armchair mindset to ourselves we can see the places we would have changed…and if we changed them our lives would not be the same.
Maybe that is why we don’t know the future? Maybe the human in us all would want to avoid the bad stuff and get more quickly to the good stuff? To be our whole self, our genuine self, our true self we have to live the good and the bad; for how cheerful would a sunny day be if you never experienced the rain? Maybe the best advice we can absorb is to live the life we have to it’s fullest, getting better and better each day no matter what happens. Obviously try to avoid stupid drama, and yet there is a purpose for the drama if you put it in perspective in the entire album of your life. And of course avoid the relative who lives in the armchair quarterback mindset, just turn on the tv and let them yell loudly at the idiots on the screen…you go outside and enjoy the sunny day.