It is Both the Having and the Being

When I work to create these handmade paper mats, I work in multiples. I usually create a bunch at a time and then leave it until later to find the perfect quote. This mat has been around for a while, and when I pulled it off the shelf I had just read these words from Henry Ford:

My best friend is the one
who brings out the best in me.

– Henry Ford 1947

I think it is an awesome definition of a best friend. The person who brings out our best…no matter what. To have someone in our life who facilitates us becoming the best version of ourselves. Someone we trust. Someone who has proven themselves trustworthy. Someone who will call us on our moments of weakness, our foibles, our poor choices and dimly thought out ideas. Someone who will care for us and ALWAYS expects us to get better every day. Whew! That is a tall order and quite a responsibility.

I then thought about it from the other way round. Why would someone want me as their best friend? Do I do all that for them? Bring out their best, trust them, encourage them, call them on their speckled thinking, and encourage them to be their best self? Am I easy to talk to without getting lectured? Do I love them and tell them like it is? Or do I simply spend time with them because it’s an easy job with no real expectations. Having a best friend and being a best friend are two VERY different things.

May I ask you, do you have a best friend? Would they be surprised if you said their name as an answer to that question? Have you told them what they mean to you? Are you someone’s best friend? Do you even want to be? Relationships are hard, ugly, messy, time consuming and even frustrating. And yet try living without friends and life gets pretty awful pretty quickly. Having and being a friend is a miraculous opportunity in life. Friendship makes us a better version of ourselves, and we are blessed when we can reciprocate that for someone else.

So as you finish reading this post, think about the person or persons who are your friends. Do they know it, do you know it? Is there a ‘best’ friend in your world? Take time today to give thanks for the having and being parts of friendships. It is one of those responsibilities of life that makes everything worthwhile. And if for some reason you do not have a best friend or many friends, let this be your encouragement to go make some by being one first. Someone has to go first, why not you?