I was given a promotion and the “package” I was being offered was rather disorganized and pitiful. My boss who was communicating the information to me was not able to answer my questions. Their attitude was rather aloof because to them it did not matter. They told me I had no choice but to take the package and not ask questions. That did not sit well with me, so later I went upstairs and spoke to the CEO. I already had a great relationship with them and shared my concerns. They bowed their head, shook it twice, and sat quietly while I vented my anger. On my drive home I pondered if showing my emotions so honestly was not maybe a bad thing. The CEO had never seen me in that light and I wondered if being too emotional might make me look weak.
The next day my boss pulled me into their office and magically found the answers to my questions. It took them all day, but they finally had the numbers and told me to take the deal as it was all I was going to get. Honestly, the “deal” was lousy and more of an insult than a raise. I openly shared my disappointment and asked my boss to review the package with the C level. I told my boss the salary number I wanted and they laughed, said no one would pay me that for what I do. I asked them once again to review it with the C Level, or I could do it, whichever made them more comfortable. And then I waited…two weeks…
Two weeks later my boss again pulled me into their office, told me I got my number and politely asked me to take the deal. I got everything I wanted and more. I took that promotion and grew my team. Later that day the CEO pulled me into his office. He told me they appreciated me speaking to them directly AND sharing my raw emotions as to how upset I was about the “deal”. The CEO knew if I was THAT upset something was really wrong.
I share this story because it is a personal example of how showing my emotions helped demonstrate the inconsistencies and confusion of the situation. If I had remained calm the CEO would never have understood how I was being treated. Moving forward the CEO and I were closer and they came to me to get “the truth” on many occasions. Any fear I had about being emotional were erased.
There is a difference between a situation making us emotional and being perceived as an emotional person. Wisdom provides the guidelines for when emotions needs to be brought to play and when we have to keep ourselves in check. Sometimes the only way people know how severe the situation is happens when someone who is not emotional gets emotional. As these words remind us, our emotions evoke our truths and without them we would be needlessly apologizing.