The Courage to Break a Code of Silence

Inktober 202 – Day 6: Billy Joel Lyrics

The song is titled Code of Silence. The words highlight the challenge in keeping the secret or not allowing yourself to speak about it. There are all sorts of things that once they have happened no longer deserve to be spoken of again and yet a code of silence only builds prison walls around our heart and soul.

I have a friend who was a victim of date rape and she never told anyone because she was embarrassed and thought no one would believe her. She kept it to herself for years. One evening over dinner she told me and I was stunned. It had happened over a decade earlier and she began to cry like a baby. The release of just saying it out loud to another person was what she needed to complete the healing process. She found help and no longer lives in fear or dread or the humiliation she thought would be there but never materialized.

I have countless stories of things people have told me that they have kept bottled up inside. In every case once they began talking about it, telling the truth or even just faced the facts their lives moved towards a positive path of a healthy mind and body. Silence only keeps the keeper bound up and full of fear. Eventually all things that happen in the dark will be brought into the light, and the light is the place where healing begins.

There is a great responsibility when you are the first person to hear someone break their code of silence. Calm. Kindness and support are the best tools to apply. You most likely are not the person to help them heal, you are the one helping them open the door and giving them the support they need to walk through it. We all have secrets, some more treacherous than others. Some need to stay far from the light so they can no longer have power over us. Some need to some out and some need help to reach the light. In these strange days be kind, be tender and let the one who needs you do it in their own time. Be willing to listen and that is an amazing gift to help them deal with a code of silence.

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