Gift Giving, a Great Time for a Motive Check

Gel Pen on Mixed Media Paper – Words: Seneca

When we give a gift we no longer have control of how that gift is used. If we give tangible items it is a true gift when we allow the receiver to do with it what they may, whether we like it or not. If we try to control how they use it then it really isn’t a gift it becomes an element of control. For it is not the gift that really matters it is the intention of the giver that counts.

We’ve all received wonderful gifts and ones that were not so wonderful. Instead of being disappointed in the item it is better to focus on the reason the giver chose to give you that gift. By doing that there is no reason to be disappointed in a ‘thing’.

As people who give things we need to be clear about our own intentions. Did we do it to look good, feel good, control, manipulate or simply to repair? Once we check our motives we we can then evaluate if the gift was for us or for the receiver? Too many times we give because we think it is expected or we give what we think they should want, need, have when in reality we never bothered to think about it from their perspective. Giving is not about what we get it is about doing something for the receiver.

Next time you feel the need to give, check your motives. Is the gift to make you feel better or for them to feel better? Is it something you want them to have or something they said they really wanted? And why a gift anyway, is there an act of service or something you can give in their honor instead? My guess is they would prefer a little piece of something you did rather than something you bought. The best gifts come from the heart and not the store.

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