I spend a lot of time listening to people tell their stories. One by one they reveal their highs and lows, what they cherish and where they feel like they belong. I’ve learned that we all want something to do, someone to love, and somehow to make a difference. It is when we do not have these things that we feel unlike our true selves.
There are a myriad of reasons why people often feel like they don’t fit in, or feel valued or feel like their work contributes to a bigger picture. Usually one thing starts the feeling of inadequacy and layer upon layer builds until we have to dig deep to find the root cause. What was once bright and cheerful slowly fades to dull and dark.
As I listen to people the ones that are successful in changing their feelings work hard to change their reactions and attitudes. Horrible and tragic things happen to everyone, it is how people react AND allow the seeds of anger, resentment and victimization to take root that starts their challenges. Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others helps soothe the wound. Those who can’t forgive – or won’t – travel an empty road always trying to recover their sense of self.
As I had a conversation today I shared one of my favorite Eleanor Roosevelt quotes, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” So very true and reminds us that we are in charge of our own life and colors. So I told my client to stop giving people permission and take back her solid feelings of self worth. She wanted so badly to be bright and cheerful again and felt knocked down one too many times to be able to recover. Once we talked it through she had a couple to do items she wanted to pursue to get back to her true self and brightness.
We all have down days, dark times and hard things happen. Being wise enough to let them go and to kill the root makes all the difference. That is when we have the energy to do what we were born to do, loving and being loved, and adding value to make a difference. So what’s preventing you from feeling like your true self is shining for the wold to see it? Let it go and let your true colors shine…