Don’t Be Stingy, Be Generous…

I was in public recently, in and out of stores for several hours. In observing how people were speaking to each other, and how their interactions went, I noticed that the people who were kind and polite to each other left with a smile. The sad part of these observations was that most people barely showed the minimal courtesy or politeness. Most people were in such a hurry that they completed their transaction and left.

Now I must admit, I am a little biased on this topic. I was raised in the North by two Southerners. We were taught manners at an early age, and when my oldest brother hit kindergarten my Mom was called to the Principals’ office. They wanted her to tell my brother not to call his Teacher “Ma’am”…it made the other children laugh. My Mom refused and told the Principal that good manners will always matter. I thought these words from John Wannamaker were a true tribute to my Mom’s interaction with that Principal:

Courtesy is the one coin you can never have
too much of or be stingy with.

– John Wannamaker 1922

More than one hundred years ago good manners, courtesy, and common kindness were all very easy to experience. Today they are sadly harder to find. I once had a colleague tell me that they didn’t want to say ‘please’ as it made them feel weak. Another person told me that ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re welcome’ were no longer necessary. And still another professional told me that saying ‘you’re welcome‘ had nothing to do with them…instead they say ‘no problem’. OMG!!! I was shocked and I though I heard my Southern Grandmothers roll over in their graves! There is never a time or place where good manners, courtesy and kindness cannot make things better…NEVER!

Now again, I must admit that in the South we talk. We talk to strangers, we talk to neighbors, we talk to friends we haven’t seen, and we can talk to a fire plug to make it feel important! Talking is what we do as it brings us together. It helps us acknowledge the importance of the other person, AND it reminds us that all people matter…even the grocery bagger or the shopping cart collectors at the store. Speaking to people, all sorts of people – not just those you think are the right sorts of people – shows they matter enough to be noticed. It is a human courtesy to speak to people, show kindness, and share common courtesies. You may never know that you were the only person to speak to them and acknowledge their existence.

Let me encourage you to utilize the manners you were taught without fear or hesitation. It is time to make your Mama proud and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to everyone you meet..especially if they have shown you kindness. The world can only get better if we treat each other better, no matter the presiding trends or slang that not everyone understands. When we treat everyone as if they are important, everyone benefits…including us! So get out there and put your manners to work! Don’t be stingy, be generous with your words. And just for me, throw in a ‘ya’ll’ or an ‘all ya’ll’ every now and then to watch those smiles shine bright!