Thoughts on Words While Painting & Pasting

I am refreshing a bathroom in our house, and decided to utilize textured prepasted wallpaper and paint to add a little something new. I have been stalling for about a week as I was not sure how to best apply prepasted wallpaper, I’m a peel and stick kind of gal! I couldn’t find what I wanted in a resource I knew how to use, so I bought something new. As I procrastinated, I texted friends and family, I shared my procrastination, and I got two responses:

You Can Do It!

I Believe in You!

I greatly appreciated those encouraging words. They showed support which is what I needed. And yet, as I was starting the project – which means I had many hours to think – I realized that those statements may seem like the same sentiment, yet in reality they are quite different. It made me think about the value and meaning of words and phrases.

The phrase You Can Do It mostly came from friends that are my age or little older. I took these words as a call to action, stop procrastinating AND nothing is going to happen unless you get started. The phrase reminded me that I can do it and to put fear aside and get going. It projects a can do attitude with a kind urging included. This phrase made ME the focus of the first word, which was then supported and encouraged by the rest of the phrase. No where was the person who said it mentioned in the phrase.

The phrase I Believe in You mostly came from much younger people, mostly under forty. When I told them about my procrastination, they responded with a phrase that had a word focusing on themselves as the first word. It wasn’t until the last word in their statement that there was a mention of ME. Still a supportive phrase, yet it put what the person who said it believes first and me last.

As I worked, – I had finished the wallpaper and began painting – I had this observation. I realized that the different generations have learned to encourage and support from two very different angles. In one phrase the person to be supported comes first while the sender is not really important. In the next phrase the sender comes first, which makes them important, and the person to be supported comes last. It may not seem like a big deal, and yet it is an interesting change in how people are choosing their words to help others.

As I was still painting – the second coat, – I realized that I could not blame it on “those darn kids” because we are the generation that has raised those kids. They learned from us to be self focused, we put self esteem over life lessons, and taught them to interact with others on their own terms YET take care of themselves. We stopped making them struggle, go without or even fail then try again, fail again, then keep going. We built up their self esteem to the point that in realistic terms they do not realize that self esteem will not get the job done. Someone has to get dirty and actually do the work. Struggle is an important part of the process. Fear is a motivator, failure is not bad and it does not mean you are bad…failure is vital to our ability to succeed. Going without and earning what you want builds character, self reliance and gives us a great sense of accomplishment. Overcoming fear can change your life! Whew! That seemed like a very big thought for a bathroom refresh- and then I was done painting the second coat.

I am not minimizing either statement or the people who sent me such kind words. With time on my hands to think, I was struck by how our generations are using our language differently. And I realized in using words differently we are shaping lives and the future differently. I also realized that our bathroom looks great and I was proud of myself for trying something new…even if I did procrastinate.

Let me encourage you to think about how you are saying what it is you want to say…words matter. Like this quote from Pindar says, words have a longer life than deeds. Words allow us to communicate our message even when we may not realize the message our chosen words are sending. Choose your words wisely, make sure they are saying exactly what you want them to say…words last. And…words will probably last longer than that darn prepasted wallpaper!