What Being an Adult is All About!

For Maya, who has just graduated, I wanted to give her words to encourage her through struggles as they always accompany triumphs. This quote from Wilma Rudolph says it very well:

Triumph cannot be had without the struggle.

– Wilma Rudolph 1994

The best things that happen in our lives come with hard work, struggle and perseverance. Nothing worth achieving was ever reached without the dark and the light side of things. We cheer loudly and strongly when we see someone win, we hurt with them when they lose. We rarely see or are part of the process of struggle, the longest part of winning.

It is the runner training for a big race that gets up at four in the morning to run a long distance in order to be prepared for a short sprint. The meals they eat – over and over and over again – in order to keep their nutrition and health at their peak. It means going to bed early to be rested for that morning run, and avoiding too much excess as that alone could blow the next race. It is the mental discipline, the emotional protection, the focus and diligence for the end goal that must be kept clear months, maybe even years in advance of that one run that could change everything. Rinse and repeat, as the process of training and mental preparation for the big race is definitely a marathon, not a sprint. Unless we are part of their inner circle, we never see any of this.

The same holds true for long term goals of any kind. Set the goal, make the plan, handle the mental and physical tasks needed to reach the goal, and then stay the course no matter how exciting something else might appear. It is doing the homework, actually reading the books and papers, writing, rewriting, proofreading and even touching up that makes the story worth reading for the audience. It is the long game, dealing with the struggle of staying focused that makes the difference between those who reach their goal and those who make excuses.

Life has a way of getting things muddled, of diverting us from our goal. Romance, health issues, financial woes, even our own mental ability to do the important things once and then over and over and over again until we want to scream. THAT is when we know if we truly want to reach the goal, or if it was just a good idea at the time. Be it financial success long term, earning a degree, building a house, or recovering from a health challenge…EVERYTHING in life requires discipline and a goal. And yes, there will ALWAYS be a struggle. ALWAYS!

Interestingly enough, the struggle is not always the same for everyone. We each must face our own weaknesses, our demons, in order to achieve what we want in life. It’s called being an adult. And on some days it really sucks being an adult. Those are the days when our choices have the power to make or break us. Ice cream and binging movies may or may not be the best way to handle it all. Sometimes you need just that, and other days you have to grind through and continue doing the work – it’s not sexy, it’s not FaceBook worthy stuff, it’s not popular or going to win you admirers – yet the work must get done. So face your struggle, power through and JUST DO THE WORK! Because if you don’t, no one can do it for you…and there goes the glory and joy of crossing the finish line and reaching your goal.

So Maya, do the work. It may not be glamorous or joyful, just do it anyway! YOU are worth that struggle. What you want in life is worth all the effort it takes no matter how it makes you feel. Life is about the long game! So set your lofty goals, adjust as necessary, and do the work. THAT is how you will become the woman you want to be when you reach my age. THAT is what being an adult is all about!