In the End You Win…You WIN!

Opaque Ink on Black Card Stock – Words: John Patrick

It some how doesn’t seem fair that our best lessons and gained wisdom in life all usually start in a painful moment. Wouldn’t it be grand if we could avoid all that pain, turmoil, angst, and the messy aftermath and just gain the wisdom free from all that? You and I both know life doesn’t really work that way, for whatever reason. If we were wise first we could avoid all that pain. Sometimes we accomplish that, most of the time the pain is what wakes us up enough to open the door for learning. But it just doesn’t feel that way when we are in the midst of pain.

Like this quote says, it is the pain that makes us think. It is then the thinking that makes us wise, and wisdom is what allows us to build and enjoy our lives. No pain, no thinking, hence no wisdom. Sure we could be super ahead of the curve and learn from other people’s pain, and that does happen sometimes; however, most of that time we observe and believe THAT won’t happen to me…until something just like it lands in our lap. That is when we are the one learning.

Life is messy, life is uncertain. Life has a way of bobbing and weaving us close to the flame then pulling us back far enough to think and learn. Then there are the people we all know who seem to go head first, at full speed into drama at every chance. If there is no turmoil, they create it, manufacture it, they may even have elves in their basement making the stuff so that they can feel important because they have crazy photos or videos to post to social media. Every family has this person, and all of us have friends who behave just this way. You don’t? Oh! No one has told you? YOU are that person in your family (just so you know!)

Each day, each experience brings us options and decisions to make. How to react, how to get through it all, what are we going to choose to learn here? And yes, I believe learning is a choice we make or don’t depending upon our state of mind. Sometimes we have to experience the pain over and over and over again until we process it through and are willing to learn, then change. Lessons learned come quickly and some come after too many hard knocks. Choose to learn, choose to change, which means taking an active part in living the life you want as a result of the choices and learning you have done. Want a different life? Make different choices! Wisdom is the prize in it all, and that prize only yields a positive life if we employ it.

You may be experiencing painful situations or relationships right now, and that feels horrible. If you allow yourself to experience it, think and process, then learn, there can be a positive side to this horrible mess. It may come much slower than you would prefer, yet it will come. Instead of wallowing (or not wallowing as long!) choose to gain wisdom. In the end you win…you win! That’s why you need to focus on as the horrible-ness subsides, eventually you will win.

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