It takes courage to build relationships and let people into our lives, let alone into our hearts. Some of those relationships will last a long time, others will fill the gap then fade, while still others will leave us wanting. If we are hurt often enough we learn to close ourselves off to prevent further harm. Self protection seems a better path than being wounded. Here we are reminded that the worst fate is not to be hurt and left alone, the worst prison would be a closed heart.
There is an attractiveness to not letting people in, not investing, not taking any chances. We feel safer, in control and have the illusion of being self sufficient. We are footloose and fancy free to do what ever we want, whenever we want and feel in control by protecting our heart. Ask anyone who has been left hurt with a broken heart and they will tell you it was tough. They will also tell you it taught them a great deal and made them a better person. The best people I know, the ones with character, resilience, courage and wisdom are the ones who have overcome bad, sad, awful days . They have lived through it and grown into a better version of themselves. It’s a tough way to learn and most often the most effective way to learn to love stronger, deeper, and more generously.
When we choose to stay clear of strife, possible hurt, even stick to the surface on things to avoid entanglement we are in essences giving up on ourselves. We have decided to stay the way we are and not risk. People figure that our quickly and do the same, they leave us alone or only risk knowing us on the surface. We send the signal we want it that way, and they comply. It is a lonely existence, even for those who call themselves introverts. We are social creatures and are better when we have relationships for all kinds in our life. There needs to be a balance in how we live and love, and that balance includes good and bad days. The good days make everything better, the bad days remind us to cherish the good ones. We cannot appreciate one without the other.
Today may be the day you set down the keys that have locked up your heart and take a chance. Let that person in a bit more simply because you can. They don’t have to move in, just enjoy a bit of time getting to know you. You may be surprised how much they can give and care if you simply take the chance.