Secrets, we all have them. Things we’ve done, things we’ve seen, things we think and even the things we refuse to admit to ourselves. These are the thoughts or ideas that haunt us, good or bad, missed opportunities or opportunities wasted, however it happens we all have something to hide. Something we don’t want anyone to know.
We all have them so why are secrets still secret? Things change when we muster the courage to tell someone the truth we are hiding. We dilute it’s power and what was a secret no longer has a hold on our mind and soul. There is that brief moment before we reveal it that we hesitate, worry and wonder how much that other person will still like, love or trust us once we reveal our inner truth. We’re taking a risk, and yet the risk is better than living with a secret that is destroying our life.
As the person on the other side, the one being told, sure there may be a shock, disappointment and possibly disbelief. Sure we may not know exactly what to say. And yes, someone telling us a deep truth makes us wonder about our own secrets. Then the moment arrives where we have to choose how we will react. And THAT is the real moment of truth. Are we going to judge, condemn or even walk away? Or are we going to thank them for being honest and having the courage to share the truth with us? How the relationship moves forward hinges on how we choose to behave once we know their secret.
Now we have to stay trustworthy with the information. It is not our secret to share, unless they give us that permission. Once we share it without permission we have become untrustworthy. We have become the wind sharing the information with the trees. A secret is a gift, a curse and a bond of trust all rolled into one. Be sure before you share or hear a secret that you are ready for the responsibility and the release of both sides of the information. Once you are known for oversharing people will tell you less and less. To gain trust and keep it is a hallmark of a great listener and a good friend.