As I mentioned in my last post (Version 1: Be the Master of Your Silence) I created two versions of this quote, both very different. I used watercolor and inks for this one, with a bit of gel pen. I like this version as it is very different than the first one. It reminds me that words can take on all sorts of shapes and sizes, and do not always have to be in your face to get the point across. Just as a reminder, here is the Benjamin Franklin quote:
It is better
to be the master
of your silence
than to be
a slave
to your words.
-Benjamin Franklin 1790
Our words have power, and we are the only one responsible for how we wield them. We can choose to make our words work for good, or we can sharpen our tongue to get our point across by slicing and dicing people’s egos, maybe even harming their soul. Sure it may feel good in that moment to be right, yet in the long run – in the lifetime of that relationship – is being right worth hurting someone with what you said? Regret is a hard emotion to live with long term, and often leaves us further away from our goal.
So what’s the solution to this quandary? Say what we REALLY want to say no matter how it makes people feel? Or do we take Ben’s advice and master our silence? When I was young and foolish I often spoke before thinking about the impact my words may incur. Experience, age and wisdom have taught me otherwise. I often find myself holding my tongue in order keep a conversation positive. I wait until I have thought it through, or I tell that person what they need to hear when we are alone. Rebukes are best delivered one on one, not in a group or via email. Words do indeed have the power to uplift or cut to the core, it is up to us to choose how we want to wield one of our most powerful tool.
I will add one more comment about speaking the truth. You may realize what is going on faster or more quickly than other people in the conversation. Be patient. Give them time to mentally and emotionally catch up. Your words may be important ones that they need to hear in order to glean from your knowledge or experience…it does not always mean THAT conversation is when they are prepared to hear your message. Time is your friend. Maybe giving them time to process BEFORE you drop the bomb, share your wisdom, or give them the boost they need is the best course of action. Giving them time gives them space to prepare, process and be open to what you need to say. In relationships and learning, timing can be everything.
Let us give thanks for men who said great things…like reminding us to think before we speak. Do you want to be a salve to your words or the master of your silence? Only you can make that choice each and every day…so choose wisely!
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