‘Love’ can be an often misused word. We talk about foods that we love, outfits, places, activities, and in the next breathe talk about people we love. The challenge becomes that we have watered down the word such that our adoration of pizza and people gets described using the same word. I understand how people learning English get our idioms and uses of words confused. These words from Saul Bellow help clarify this:
A man is only as good as what he loves.
– Saul Bellow 2005
Let me explain. Saul says that a man is only as good as what he loves…so if he LOVES pizza, is that the same LOVE he feels for his family or wife? Or are we over using the word’ love’ because we do not or will not use another verb? Could we say we adore pizza, crave pizza, desire pizza? Does that send the same message as loving pizza? Or can the word ‘love’ be both a word to express the level at which we favor something and a life long commitment in a relationship with someone? Maybe love can be both.
On the other hand, if you love pizza and like people, THAT IS saying something. Maybe the lack of using the word ‘love’ is the more powerful statement. It’s like the person in the relationship who says, “I love you” first, is that more powerful? Does it require the other person to respond the same way? And what if they don’t? That too sends a very clear message. I don’t mean to get hung up on this, yet people love internet influencers, cookbooks, their dog, and their car. Does that preclude them from being able to also ‘love’ – and be loved – by someone?
I think Saul is reminding us here that we are only as good as what we LOVE. It could be pizza, it could be your car, it could be your family (hopefully it is!). WHAT we love and say that we love, act as we do and treat importantly – THAT is what we love. It does define who we are. We all know people who love power, or always being right, or being superior, who love to be important, love money, and then there are those who love to be the center of attention. We know people who love to be the contrarian in the room, the intellectual, the fact checker and the court jester. And there are those who love to encourage, to praise people, to find the good, and to make people feel better than when they met them. If that is what they love, it does define them. When you think about it, Saul is right, we are only as good as what we love.
So what do you love? Does it show? Do you have a clear answer there, or do you need to ask someone people who know you for feedback? If you ask, be willing to listen.
We are only as good as what we love…so love wisely!
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