“Then you need to find people who do.” Strong words, great words, and words that can change your life. All of us have all sorts of relationships in our lives. Family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and come combination of all the elements of our life where people play a role. Some of those people we can’t wait to spend time with, and others we dread even being in the same room. It isn’t because they are horrible people, they have simply made it clear what is their priority…and it isn’t making us feel better about ourselves. In many cases, it is only about making us feel good about them.
Being an adult means having the power to navigate all those multi-faceted relationships AND how they impact our lives. We have choices of how we want to spend our time, invest our time, and who we want to share our life’s journey. We have the power to diffuse people who do not believe in us or encourage us by not spending our valuable time with them. And then someone says, “Oh! that’s horrible, they are family.” Being family does not give people the right to treat us poorly or make us feel bad about ourselves. Once you get that, everything changes. Because they are family they should be the first to make us feel good, help us sustain being proud of ourselves AND be the people we want to spend time with…but it doesn’t always work out that way.
I believe we have two families – the ones we were born into and the ones we choose. The one we were born into does not have the right to control our lives. Having the courage to build your own family by choosing people who believe in you and encourage you – THAT is your real family. So have the courage to spend time with the people who help you be a better you, and turn off the guilt the others throw your direction. And sometimes you do have family that become your friends, the ones who cheer you on to greatness. Count yourself double blessed when that happens.
So take this tip from John Maxwell, a wise and faith based leader. If the people you spend time with do not make you a better you, then you need to find people who do!!!
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