If Only They Would Ask

As part of the book I created for Maya, my friend who graduated last month, I included these words. I learned long ago that being able to ask for help is a HUGE step in self sufficiency. That may sound counter intuitive, yet it’s true. When you can set aside your pride, your ego, admit you need help, and then actually ask for help…NOTHING is impossible! We may be strong, courageous and powerful, yet at one time or another every one of us needs help. Every one needs to lean on the wisdom and talents of others to live a productive life…even if it means asking for help.

I had a boss who once told me, “You should be able to do this on your own. If you ask for help it makes me think you are weak. If you need help then why did I hire you?” I sat quietly for a while before I spoke – which if anyone knows me, is hard for me to do – I then said, “So you want me to do this on my own, without contacting IT, or asking more senior people what they think, or even checking with HR to be sure it can, should or even needs to be done? I just want to make sure I understand the parameters of my assignment before I get started.” Dead silence. He laughed and said, “Very funny.” I told him I was not being funny, I just wanted to be sure he understood that other people who know more than me could be of great assistance AND if I do it all on my own, chances are there will be lots of wasted efforts and lots of rework. He walked away. I did ask for help, got it done in record time, and he stopped asking me to do things. I left that company within the year.

I learned long ago that asking for help is not weakness, it is wisdom. NO ONE knows everything. Being able to find the right people, ask for help, get the job then thank them brings you both a great deal of satisfaction. Using people is different than asking for help. Once you learn how to do something, then you should be doing it for yourself…assuming it is a job you can do alone. Pride is a terrible thing. It prevents us for sharing our needs with people AND prevents them from being able to make our lives better.

NEVER be too proud, shy, scared, or afraid to ask for help. One day someone may need assistance from you, and you will of course be glad to help…if only they would ask.