For my friend Maya who is facing graduation and all sorts of new adventures, I included this quote in the book I am making. I learned this lesson in the middle of my corporate career, and it changed my world!
I was the Director of Learning and Development for the US offices of a global company. Which meant I was included in the SMT (Senior Management Team) meetings and strategy sessions. One day I was looking around the room in one of the SMT meetings, and realized I did not fit. All the women in the room dyed their hair, had manicured and polished fingers and toes, they wore corporate suits and expensive jewelry. I did not look like that at all. My hair was graying and I left it that way (I earned every one of those grey hairs!) My hair was short and sassy. My fingers and toes were clean and short yet not manicured. I wore colorful blouses, simple, creative jewelry, and I wore glasses. When I was sitting there realizing all this, I suddenly felt very insecure. I felt the heat of embarrassment rise to my face and I was stunned. Why was I an important person in this room? Why was I even in this room? Then that voice we all have inside said, “Stop it! They need you as you are a different voice, a different perceptive, someone with different ideas. This place would be very boring without you.” I took a deep breath and after ‘hearing‘ that, I never again felt insecure because of my appearance.
It is what makes us different that makes us important. It helps us see the world, problems, and present ideas in a way that contributes a unique and important element to the process. The key is not to flaunt your differences or shove them in people’s faces. The best representation of being different is to become the person they call on to hear what you think. They know they need you – not because you tick a mark or fulfill some diversity requirement – they know YOUR differences give you the gift of perspective. They want to hear your ideas because they are great ideas – different, well thought out AND strategic. Being different also means you have to build a confidence and security that helps you withstand the poking and prodding new ideas often endure. Not everyone will like you or your ideas, so get over the idea of needing to be popular or a favorite. They don’t have to like you, they have to respect your work. You are in that room to bring value not to be win any contest. It is your difference that makes you stronger; be solid and be strong!
My encouragement to Maya is to embrace who you are – whether you fit in or not – and become a strong, creative woman who brings value to every room into which you are invited. Being different is hard enough, stop putting yourself down or trying to fit in. YOU do YOU!!! And the world will be a better place for it.
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