How to Get Home from Iowa

When I think about my friend Maya, who is graduating this month, I remember when I too had major life changes. I wondered what would happen moving forward. I found this quote from Jeni Britton Bauer about just that:

Forward is not a straight line.
It is much more exciting, complex, difficult, gnarly, and uncharted than that.

– Jeni Britton Bauer

Looking forward, thinking about the future, is indeed exciting, complex, difficult and gnarly. We plan, and hope, and dream that it will work out the way we want. Those of us who have been around the bend a few times know that not all things go as planned. Sometimes the best adventures are when things are unplanned, messy and take us down a different road. Looking back at my own graduations, very little went as planned and the ups and downs have brought me to a very wonderful place.

I see and hear a lot about anxiety, about things needing to be perfect, about people not being prepared mentally or emotionally for all that is coming their way. I get that. It makes me think about the first time I had to drive into downtown Chicago at the age of sixteen. Or when I drove to Iowa at age seventeen, to pick up my brother at college. Both times I was terrified! After having done those trips, traveling and figuring out where I’m going is nowhere near as nerve racking. I may have been bothered by being asked to do something that terrified me, and yet my parents were right to make me do them. Those trips taught me self sufficiency, how to navigate, how to get lost and ask for help, and how to build confidence. They taught me that fear is part of the process, anxiety will go away, and that I am capable. I recently asked my eighteen year old nephew if he would come visit, which meant driving four plus hours to our house, and he said, “Sure, I think I can do that.” I was so proud of him I could burst!

Looking forward requires that we face the unknown with confidence, even when we have no clue how to get to Iowa! Once we do one scary thing, the next one is not so scary, and before we know it we are in downtown Chicago changing lanes like one of the aggressive cab drivers. If we choose to let fear, anxiety and dread stomp on our options, the world is going to be a very small place. If fear rules our decisions, then we are not likely to have any of our dreams come true.

So, I encourage Maya and those making life changes to face them with a a plan, knowing that the plan will change. Face your fear and anxiety about the unknown, and get out there. Get moving! Tackle those gnarly and uncharted days and you too will have great stories to share…and you might even figure out all on your own how to get home from Iowa!