The Benefits of Being a Friend

If you are fortunate to have one good friend in your life, you are VERY fortunate indeed. I do not take for granted the people I call friend. I cherish them and greatly appreciate the value they bring to my life. I also know that the only way friendship really works is if it is two way street, a give and take relationship. And I know that these words from Eleanor Roosevelt help us understand where all great friendships start:

Friendship with one’s self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends
with anyone else in the world.

– Eleanor Roosevelt 1962

If you do not have a friendship with yourself, then how can you be a friend to someone else? Liking who you are, knowing how to comfort and encourage yourself, and being able to listen to your heart explain how you are feeling. All the things we do for ourselves give us the right skills, the right equipment, the right emotional intelligence to be a friend to someone else. I know it may sound a bit simplistic, and yet I also know the people who do not like themselves or spend anytime alone thinking about their own life are hard friends to have. They have a hard time being a friend to someone else because they do not spend time being their own friend. They hoard or bombard others when they have the opportunity for friendship with someone else because they are starving for someone to care.

All this gets to a deeper challenge I see emerging with people. We do not know how to be alone…especially without our phones or electronic connections. Silence has become a grueling, horrible experience and we never think for ourselves. We never think about ourselves. We are so bombarded by social media, email, texts, prompts, and every other touch technology gives us, that we never just sit and enjoy being alone, being quiet, being able to REALLY think. So when we are with people – people we call friend – we are ill-equipped to build and maintain a friendship that will last the tests of time. We suck the opportunity dry and overwhelm them with our need to be heard, for someone to listen, for emotional support. It doesn’t happen every time, yet it does tend to happen a lot. Whew! You know what I mean…admit it. We all know these people AND at times we have all been this person.

So, my encouragement today is for you to stop and take time to be your own friend. Go for a walk without any technology. Sit in a quiet place and think about your life without any prompts or interruptions from social media or texting. DARE to be content with who you are now and know that the time you invest in being your own friend will only enhance the friendships you have with other people. Give yourself the benefits of being a friend, your own friend first! Give the friends you love a better friend in you, by you liking YOU!