Interesting AND Interested…

I had dinner with a friend this past week, and we spent a lovely evening sharing and talking about what it is like to be a women of a certain age. Several times during the meal one or both of us shouted, “YES!” as a sign that we understood AND could relate to what the other person was sharing. It was fantastic to have someone not only interesting to talk to, it was AMAZING to have someone who was interested as well. She listened, I listened and we both left feeling heard, understood and grateful!

Interesting AND interested…not something you often find. People may be interesting to listen to, yet when you begin speaking if they are not interested in you or what you are sharing, it is obvious. My dinner partner spoke of a lifelong friend that she has known for more than forty years, who did not know my dinner partner was an art major in college. I’ve only know my dinner partner for a little over a year and I knew she was an art major. Obviously the lifelong friend was interesting, yet not interested enough to process what was being shared and remember it. Then there are those who are interested in your life, with nothing to share about their own – for whatever reason. So they listen, yet have nothing from their own end to add to the conversation or relationship. You know these people, the ones who leave you drained and feeling alone at the end of the meal. They are usually very lovely people who never have much to add to enhance the relationship.

Interesting and interested…not an easy combination to find in friends. When I read these words from Dr. Joyce Brothers, I knew EXACTLY what she meant. Anyone can commiserate with your experience, understand your plight, or even share a story of their own that trumps yours…but people who truly listen, they are rare. What a feeling it is to know that someone gets you AND cares to stick around and find out more. Listening or being listened to is the sincerest form of flattery, and more importantly, the most important part of friendship.

Spend time today with someone who is both interesting and interested…it will change your day!