Truer words were never spoken. Anyone who has done anything, created anything, tried anything, failed at anything has experienced self doubt. It is that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you feel less than. It is the invalid thoughts in your head that tell you lies about your abilities, your worth, your talent and your skills. Self doubt is the dark place where our self confidence gets beat up by that bully on the mental playground in our mind. Everyone has it at one time or another. It is comforting to know that even a world renowned write like Sylvia Plath has experienced self doubt.
People will always criticize and tear at your ideas; it is the criticism we tell ourselves that we are fighting here – our self doubt. The key to dealing with self doubt is to know how to combat it head on! If self doubt is loud enough it can become the only voice in your head! And Wow, can that voice really hit below the belt and keep hitting until you just can’t believe anything anyone else tells you.
So how do you combat self doubt? YOU are the one tearing yourself down. Do how do YOU fight YOU? Good question. First, is to recognize that the doubt is self imposed. What has helped me is to take a deep breathe and stop the madness. I force myself to recognize at least one success I have had recently – a kind word, a comment on my work online, a customer’s thank you, or it may even take revisiting my past work and finding a piece I truly enjoy…or maybe it was just a good hair day! Once I have this reality check moment, I tell myself something good I see in my myself and my work – the colors, the phrasing, the volume, the diversity, good hair, nice eyes – SOMETHING to help me jolt myself back into a better thought process. That first recognition of my own attributes, talent or skill helps calm me down and help me focus. It gets the ball rolling towards a better, healthier perspective.
What next? I write out things I like about my work, my self, my skills, my life…I actually write them down. Our brains process things differently when we write with our hand versus typing…so I get out paper and pen and write. I list good things about me. It may sound braggadocios and YES, it is! You are in a battle for your mental health, so go to battle and stop putting yourself down. WRITE what you can see that is good in yourself, even if it is only one thing. And keep writing ONLY positive things until the self doubt starts to crack.
Next, read good things. Positive words, funny stories, scripture, heartfelt poetry, children’s stories, or even sappy greeting cards. Take time to put good in your brain and flood out the darkness that is self doubt. To get better words into your thoughts and coming out of your mouth, put good words in! Go to the library, go to your favorite magazine that makes you smile. Go to the card section of a store and read cards…flood your head with positive verbiage.
And as a last resort, or a way to secure positive motion, call someone and ask them to tell you something positive about yourself. Let them help you get the ball moving in a forward, self affirming direction. If they are your friend – because that is the only person you should call – they will have no problem telling you good things about YOU!
Whew! Self doubt can be a temporary moment or a month of hell! Our thoughts about ourselves and our skills have the power to lead us into a very dark dungeon or allow us to fly above the clouds. It is our choice as to which way we go. Sometimes we have to actively guard, protect and feed our brains with words that lift us up and combat the negative that is so easy to believe. Dare to take control of your own thoughts and stop self doubt before it takes hold. You are your own best champion in the fight to stay positive and creative. YOU take care of YOU at every turn, fill your head with good thoughts and fight that self doubt battle. If Sylvia can do it, so can you!
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