So Burn it All, Then Move On…

We’ve all spent time thinking about our past. Mistakes, triumphs, adorable babies that are now all grown up, pets we loved and amazing adventures. So much of our lives is behind us, or it fells that way, that the past can be a very pleasant place to visit. Looking back is a wonderful way to relive our best days, and unfortunately it is also a way to remind ourselves of our greatest mistakes. I was touched by this anonymous quote as it reminded me that looking back too much can impact how able we are to move forward.

I recently had a conversation with a woman who was having a hard time letting go of her past. She kept revisiting the same mistakes over and over and over again. So much so, that those experiences were the only way she could think to define herself. Every time she was assigned something new to do at work, she could only see herself as a big, fat failure because her past mistakes were the only lens through which she could see. She found herself at an emotional and productivity stand still. She asked me what she could do to clear her mind and stop looking back…

First I suggested she write down IN DETAIL all the bad, ugly, stupid mistakes she made. I told her to get emotional. Cry, scream, beat herself up, let herself have it! Write it all out and run out of ink if you have to.

Second, stare at all the words, emotions, and pain from those mistakes. Look good and hard. Relive for one last time ALLLLL the emotional baggage associated with those mistakes. And when you have no more strength to ponder about that mess…

Third, burn those pages. Burn them BIG! Stomp them into a pile of mush, light a match and scorch them into ashes that float away in the wind. Take away their power to make you feel bad about yourself….BURN baby BURN!!!

And Finally, when the urge comes back to ponder, revisit, dwell on or relive any of those things you just burned, PIINCH yourself, pinch yourself HARD! DO NOT go back into the muck and mire of your past…you burned it, so let it go. Be willing to see yourself and your opportunities clearly, no longer through the lens of failure. Because as this quote remind us…

If you look back too much, you will soon be headed that way. Moving forward requires us to learn from our past then move forward LEAVING the past behind. Your future is worth an emotional cleansing…so burn it all, then move on!