I joke that I am a bit of a half breed; I was raised in the North by two Southerners. Which means I shoveled snow and cheered for The Bears, while eating grits and knowing all the proper uses of Ya’ll! I now live in the South and am grateful for being a half breed. We were taught words and phrases like Please, Thank You, Pardon Me, and Yes Ma’am. And if we did not answer or ask a question with the right phrase, my parents stayed silent until we asked or spoke correctly. Sounds harsh, yet being polite has served me very well over the years. We were taught how important the feelings of others were in order to get along with people, so these were the phrases we had to use to best get along with people using manners. My oldest brother was once sent to the Principal’s office as when we replied to his teacher, “Yes Ma’am” she thought her was sassing her. And yes, I too have taken a bit or good natured ribbing for my politeness at times, and I’m okay with that. I would rather be kidded about being polite than known for being rude. This quote reminded me of my upbringing:
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
– Josh Billings 1885
Kill them with kindness. Works every time. Be the one in the room to be civil, kind, polite and to the point AND people will know you know what you are talking about. Most people respect being respected, even if the news is hard to hear. Sometimes a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, to quote Mary Poppins. And being polite and to the point can facilitate the decision making process purely because people know they are safe to voice an honest, respected opinion. The proper use of “Yes Sir” or a “No Sir”, “Yes Ma’am” or maybe even, “No Ma’am” signals you get who is in charge and can work with them through struggles or pitfalls.
I sometimes think we have forgotten the power of the proper use of words. Language is after all one of our greatest gifts, and how we choose to utilize that gift shows others how we will treat them and expect to be treated in return. When we give respect through our language choices, we earn it back. Feeling disrespected or ignored…try a kind phrase like “Pardon Me” or “Excuse Me” to plant evidence that you were bought up to respect others and deserve respect in return.
Rude people are usually treated rudely. Kind people may not always be treated with kindness, yet when they lay their head down at night they can be proud of the positive seeds they have planted. How do you want to be known – for being rude or kind? For speaking to people with respect and thoughtfulness, or charging in and getting what you want no matter how it makes other people feel? I am proud about the way I have been raised, and I am passing that gift to the next generation. I’m also teaching them to cheer for The Bears and how to shovel snow!
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