This is a close up look at a commissioned piece I just completed for a client’s first wedding anniversary. By the way, the first year’s anniversary gift is paper. My work is perfect way to celebrate that one!!!
The couple gave me songs they love – Ave Maria, Elvis hits, and others tunes – and told me a great deal about their relationship and life together. I have a sketch book I use during these our conversations to document what people tell me, then I reference it as I create. Often times the text seems like enough, and yet in this case a parting comment made by the wife hit the mark: my soul understands him and his soul understands mine. Those were the exact words I need to pull it all together.
Relationships are not about who gets what, meeting our own needs, or even being picture perfect. Truly long lasting relationships – friendships, marriages, family – all survive because both love and understanding play an equal role. We cannot say we love people and not work to understand who they are and what they need, while clearly communicating our own wants and needs. Sometimes we know people better than they know themselves – their flaws, bad habits, foibles and even unproductive thoughts – all of which require that we employ love more often than we work to try to fix them.
Love AND understanding is what allows us to employ grace as well as receive it. Without both relationships can feel one sided or disappointing. We may love someone, and yet without understanding who they are, we lose the joy of watching them progress beyond who they are today. And we might think we understand someone, yet without love we run the risk of only sustaining the relationship as long at the emotion lasts. The words of this wise wife remind us all that to love AND understand – with our heart and soul – is the blessing that any relationship brings into our world.
I encourage you to employ both love AND understanding into your relationships today. It takes time, energy and lots of effort….in the end, it will be worth it. Give those you love grace and they will learn how to give you grace as well.
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