The Words We Use

I saw this sign on a Manager’s office door. I know it was meant to be funny, yet as an innocent passerby I could only imagine what the woman was like who worked inside. I assumed it was a woman’s office since the sign mentions a witch, and I assumed humor because I didn’t want to believe that anyone would post this one their door without it. I wondered if she put the sign there or did her team? And was she using it to excuse her poor people skills or lack of self control? Or did she really enjoy being a witch and wanted people to know that she knows she is one?

To be honest, I felt sorry for this Manager that she thought this was appropriate AND that innocent people like myself were walking by everyday making assumptions about her as a manager and leader. It isn’t funny, in any way. It labels the woman and her team, it allows them to discount the interpersonal portions of their interactions, and it belittles and dilutes the authority of the Manager.

As I drove home I thought about the words we use to describe ourselves, and the words others us to describe us. When we use words like ‘witch’ to describe ourselves we open the door for others to use those same words. We demean ourselves and those who follow us, and we give ourselves excuses to behave badly. For a woman to call herself a ‘witch’, and to put the sign on her door confirming it, she has no recourse when people misbehave because she has given them license to do so. The words we choose to use have power, and when we choose poorly they can pigeon hole us for years to come. Calling ourselves lazy or reckless, dumb or boring…those words go into our brains and haunt our souls. They open the door for others to assume we are truly these things, when in reality it may simply be an issue of poor self esteem.

Let’s say the woman’s team hung up the sign on the door, how sad would that be? Is it true? Is it a hint about how her team feels about her as a Manager? Or maybe it was a joke to reveal her blindspot and she didn’t get the joke? What’s worse is I don’t even know this woman and I am thinking about all her flaws simply because of a ‘funny’ sign. The thing I have not mentioned yet is that this door is in a retail store where I was shopping. As a consumer I hope I never have to deal with this woman. She may be the best person on earth, but this sign prevents me from believing it.

Choose carefully the words you use to describe yourself, even in jest. Words have power; they have the ability to sink into our soul and brain and set a course for our future. They impact how people see us and how we see ourselves. Labels, signs, or nick names can build up or tear down the greatest of people. Even in jest words have power, so choose wisely.