We visited some goats yesterday and they greeted us at the fence. There were brown ones, black ones, white ones, and even a couple pigs. Basically they were all minding their own business, enjoying the sunny day, simply being themselves. They seemed to respect the fence and even appreciated what it provided. They were safe, secure, and separated from other animals. The fence prevented us from really getting too close, and it prevented them from leaving the farm. It provided a safe barrier between us, so we could enjoy interacting without either side getting out of hand.
We have all built fences in our own lives for various reasons. To protect ourselves, to keep things in perspective, maybe even to divide portions of our world from each other. We all know certain combinations of people would prove to be a disaster, so we separate them by building invisible fences. Sometimes a fence is the best way to interact with someone AND still feel protected in your own space to be able to till enjoy their presence. Fences allow us to be ourselves and the other person to be themselves. It keeps order in what could be a very chaotic world.
Then there are the fences we have created, invisible, impenetrable, strong. They have been built by experiences and pain, horror and sorrow. We keep them up to protect our self esteem, our hopes and dreams, maybe even our soul. Past interactions with others have taught us that protection starts with a good line of defense. We have learned that when certain people get too close we become the weak elk in the herd and susceptible to recurring pain and anguish. We all have people in our lives that are best kept at a distance and getting to close, moving in beyond the fence line can cause irreparable damage. We love them, they simply need to stay at a distance. This may sound cruel or mean, or if you know who these people are in your world it could sound like wisdom learned from experience.
And there are the fences we don’t even know we have built. The stories we don’t tell about ourselves because they reveal the pain from our past that has contributed to the person we are today. The people we shy away from because they don’t even know the pain they have added to our lives. The uncomfortable conversations we refuse to have because they would make us face our internal barbed wire safeguards. Or the self control, self esteem issues we don’t have the courage to face so we hide behind our own invisible fences.
We all have fences – visible and invisible, self imposed or built for protection – and these fences make our world what it is today. As we wake tomorrow with a new year and a clean slate ahead of us, what fences do you need to tear down? What invisible fences do you need to face and destroy for you to be the TRUE and REAL you that the world is waiting to see?
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