We have all had that moment in life when we simply want to hang our head in shame. We want to avoid what is coming or what has hit and pretent that all is still right with the world. Like an ostrich we bury our head in the sand to pretend nothing has changed. But no matter how we try, change is coming, the horrible thing happened, the mistake was made or the disaster is at our door. Circumstances are beyond our control. We cannot avoid it anymore.
If you work hard to avoid failure, this is a problematic moment. You have failed – you know it and the world knows it – yet you pretend and hope it will pass quickly, like a fleeting rain storm. Failure does not always mean the end, often times it is the beginning of something new. Lyrics from one of my favorite songs (Through Heaven’s Eyes) asks the following:
If a man loses everything he has, has he truly lost his worth – or is it the beginning of a new and brighter birth?
When I failed, the time I spent licking my wounds, shedding tears and truly feeling worthless served an important purpose. They allowed me to face the emotion of the failure – the devastation, the pain, the disappointment, the rejection, the feeling of unworthiness, the dull sense of regret – and wallow in all that was happening. Sometimes you need to throw your own pity party and invite ALL of your emotions. Let everything from grief to sorrow attend and party hard. Let everything hang out. When I feel this way I often turn to sad movies to help ignite the tears. I already feel horrible and the movie gives me an outlet for weeping beyond control. I remember once crying myself to sleep to wake up to a soaking wet pillow and a sense of release.
Too often we see failure as the end instead of an opportunity to begin again. Some of my best life lessons have come from failure. They are lessons I will never forget nor will I choose to duplicate. I failed, licked my wounds, hung my head in shame…then picked myself up, dusted things off and got started again. I may get up slowly or it may take a while for me to get back into my usual swing, yet I got back up. Failure is not the end, it is part of the process. Show me someone who has never failed, and I will show you someone who has never really tried. Anyone who has tried has failed.
I want to be around people who have failed. I want to be around people who are willing to put it all out there and do whatever it takes, even if they land face down in the dirt. I admire those who are willing to get up again and again, and keep trying. I want to know what they know, learn from their disasters and become a better me for listening to their tales. I want to talk to them after they dig their head out of the hole of shame and listen to what they have learned. If I am smart I will learn from them, and learn how not to make the same mistakes. I will have plenty of time to make my own errors along this journey called life. We can choose to learn from failure, or we can fail to learn.
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